Stereo welcomes Josiah Gatlyn.
This kid actually makes me want to skate so bad.
This right here, this is why snowboarding is going down the drain. Honestly, what the fuck are we teaching the new generation of snowboarding? Is this sport all about competition and who is “better then who”? No of course not, this sport is all about friendship, learning new tricks, having fun and community. This is why I work at Horseshoe, none of this bullshit happens…and in fact isn’t welcome.
I love coaching with Simple, all the kids on that team are rad as hell, but this really pisses me off. When I ride with the Simple kids I try to teach them that snowboarding is about fun, not about who won the last contest, going after sponsorships and us being “better” than others. You probably should do the same. Besides, do you really want the next generation of snowboarding to be a bunch of cocky, bad tempered, pompous ass holes who think they are god’s gift to the world? I sure hope not because by the look of it that’s the way it’s going.
Smarten the fuck up, get your act together and stop the bullshit before we are all doomed.
And people wonder why I do construction.
World of Warcraft is not that good of a game to freak out like this.
Makes sense to me.
For the 21st century ninja.
Phone That Shames The Weather Bureau
Via YankoDesign.
“I don’t know about your city, but the weather bureau of my hometown is often sniggered at, for their in-accurate predictions. When they say it will rain (like they predicted a couple of days ago) you can be sure it will be bright and sunny. I would like to gift them this “Window Phone”, that makes accurate predictions and even changes its display to reflect the climatic conditions outdoors. Maybe I should keep the phone for myself and bug the bureau with my updates.”
Now that’s teamwork.
For guys that need help with girls...
…do the following.
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.
7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words ‘fuck you, ’ and grab the other girl’s ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”
9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she’s cold… but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, “If you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to be bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party’s dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn’t girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say “No, she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts… and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I’m talking about.
22. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.
23. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that much, but I think it’s funny.
25. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Now don’t call. That’s also quite funny!
